people can only love you to the extent of which they are capable of loving. don’t ask for more because the love you receive will be disingenuous. if what someone has to offer does not satisfy you then move on. you can’t teach someone how to give you their all, that desire has to come from within
I also think it’s very strange how selflessness is so praised, by almost everyone, all the time. and even though I don’t believe that pure altruism is possible, I do think it’s very possible to tip-toe along the dangerous line of giving too much of yourself without receiving anything in return. it’s so unhealthy and yet so praised and held in such high regard, all the time. selflessness is as honorable as self-care is necessary. you can’t give and give and give of yourself without some replishment
it’s so weird how everyone claims to be that friend that always listens to their other friends’ problems. everyone claims to be the one who cares the most, puts others first, and gives selflessly and without question. but no one admits to taking. and you can’t have givers without takers. that’s so funny to me
I love witnessing another person’s vulnerability. in a world where people guard their hearts, minds, and soul as a means of survival, I have respect for the individual who’s brave enough to showcase pieces of themselves that the rest of us keep reserved for late night tears and journal entries
I know some people claim they don’t care what other people think about them but everybody cares to an extent. and the people who swear up and down that they don’t care at all probably care the most. it’s human nature to desire acceptance. depending on it too heavily is when it becomes problematic
whether it be platonic, romantic, professional, whatever… you should walk into a relationship as if you deserve nothing. people are so oblivious to how destructive entitlement can be. you have to earn friendship, love, and/or respect. it’s not just given to you because you exist in another person’s life or compliment them a few times when they’re feeling down. how lazy is that. extremely lazy. but what’s not lazy is humility. it takes work reminding yourself that even mere conversation with another human being is a gift, no one owes you their vulnerability. no one has to let you into their mind. so we certainly shouldn’t feel entitled to anything beyond that. but we often do. we’re all just so oblivious
people don’t really understand the concept of “holding on to something good.” a lot of people think it means just showing appreciation or letting a special someone know that you enjoy their company and friendship, but I think it goes beyond that. it starts from day one. making sacrifices to let someone know that you’re willing to offer more than a few words to keep them in your life. making sure they understand that they’re more than deserving of your time and energy. compromise. letting your relationship with them come before your own pride and ego. listening. all of that and more is “holding on to something good.” not a lot of people understand that. people always want to give minimum effort and expect maximum love, respect, and appreciation in return. that just doesn’t make sense.
I can’t fraternize with someone who won’t allow me to hold them accountable for their words or actions. and I really can’t fraternize with someone who doesn’t respect me enough to return the favor
thoughts are with you one second, gone the next. and you can’t take pictures of them to stick into a photo album for memory’s sake. so write down your thoughts to capture your mind’s kodak moments
motivation is draining unless it’s consistent. I know a few people who are fortunate enough to have their daily dose of adequate motivation but most of us bounce between extreme passion and paralyzing apathy. motivation is so deceptive, but I can’t blame it because it has to be. you find yourself resting comfortably in indifference and then motivation comes along and takes that all away. persuades you you can do more. makes you feel guilty, gives you hope. demonizes that comfort. promises you satisfaction. leads you to that mountain of potential, and at the top fruition awaits you. but when you’ve climbed yourself to exhaustion. when you’re halfway up the mountain, motivation abandons you. you catch yourself slipping. retreating back into that valley of apathy. and there you rest, complacency overcomes that sense of defeat, until motivation returns again to repeat the cycle.
I have so much respect for people who have the maturity and humility to admit that they were wrong about something. they’re a rarity. and that’s a shame cause admission to error is essential to growth
sometimes, some things are better left unsaid for the time being. and the ineffable musings of your mind show well in the smudges left from erased sentences. or blank spaces articulate perfectly the meaning of the jumbled mess that backspace helped you clean up. some things just either can’t be said, or don’t need to be said right now. some thoughts just aren’t ripe enough. some thoughts that cross your mind require more time than you realize to transfer into words. some thoughts end in finally appreciating that someone who once repulsed you, some end in seeing the true intentions of that someone who once swept you off your feet. I used to get frustrated with failed attempts to express myself but then I learned those attempts weren’t really failures, or fragmented reflections with no meaning, they just meant I had a little bit more life to live, people to meet, places to see, growing to do. I had to learn that with time and patience, what’s incoherent today could develop into effortless eloquence. people often try to force pre-mature messages, seldom do our thoughts reach true fruition
“you snatch controversy from the jaws of compromise” was a nice quote I heard from one of my favorite shows and it got me thinking about people and their actions, their intentions, their claims, and their commitment to coming up with real solutions. I used to get so frustrated whenever I heard people talk about a problem that they seemingly never put their energy into solving, but I’ve come to realize that bickering to no avail is some people’s way of dealing with certain issues in their lives. and it’s annoying but I don’t know if it’s necessarily incorrect. because I can’t assume that everyone I come across has had the same opportunities as me to even learn how to solve problems that seem beyond them. and I also can’t assume that everyone has within them the capabilities to begin solving those problems, or that that’s even their purpose. so maybe it’s their job to complain, and whine, and bicker, to incite someone who’s more equipped to action. to put a bug in the ears of people who don’t see anything wrong with a very problematic situation because they themselves are comfortable, to open people’s eyes. this is me being positive when I see people who “snatch controversy from the jaws of compromise.” yes some people are simply stubborn, egotistical, self-righteous and just wanna hear themselves talk, but there’s also a lot of people who might seem difficult and unwilling to compromise but only as a result of the struggles and hardships that have crafted them to be that way for the sake of survival. struggles and hardships I couldn’t even imagine. basically we should look to avoid one-dimensional assumptions and start viewing people as the complex beings that we all are
do you ever wonder where you’d be if you didn’t doubt yourself as much as you do now? if you weren’t so hesitant and didn’t allow for fear of failure to steer you toward a safer but much more boring route… do you ever stop and think: what if you just stopped thinking so much, and stopped allowing for the opinions of others to trample your own. what if you did what you do because you love it and wanted to. would you be successful living in bliss or just another flop, embarrassed and drowning in sorrow. I don’t know. I just wonder what I’d be, where I’d be, and who I’d be if I was more carefree. apathetic to spectators, and didn’t value precaution as much as I do now. there’s a freedom in carelessness but also an uncertainty that I’m not yet comfortable with. so I’m just left wondering, along with millions of others, about what would happen if I got fed up with curiosity and ran recklessly into the future with confidence and an awareness of my potential being the only things on my mind
people are so lazy in relating to other people now days. not even just on a superficial level, doing for someone what they would do for you or offering the love, support, and respect that’s expected in a friendship, most people aren’t even thorough with the beginning stages of a budding relationship. the whole entering with an open-mind, putting in the necessary work to dismiss assumptions, engaging in conversation that allows for people to show us who they are. people seldom do that. most of us are satisfied with looking at a few posts from someone’s blog or scanning some tweets in an attempt to get to “know” a person. it’s sad, the laziness is worsening. being a good friend requires some work. getting to know someone requires effort. and if you’re not willing to put in the work then that’s fine, but don’t get upset when someone you thought was your friend utters that ever so painful accusation “you don’t know me.” because it’s more than likely the truth. we don’t really know each other anymore