I was sniffling in class this afternoon so my professor handed me his handkerchief expecting me to use it. I was confused but my automatic response was to smile as I graciously thanked him. When he wasn’t looking, I glared at the handkerchief disgustingly like “What the hell? People share handkerchiefs?” I concluded he was nasty. His offering was offensive. And no one in the class looked perplexed or shared my disbelief. They were nasty too. I thought the whole exchange was bizarre. Nasty and bizarre. I just stared at it nervously like “I’m supposed to use this?” It was clean but it wasn’t new. It wasn’t even cute, just plain white cloth. Like. What. 

But the snot kept running. And the sniffles persisted. And there was no tissue box around. And my nose was too exhausted to do another snort. So I surrendered to the little un-new handkerchief that was vainly sitting on my desk. I picked it up. Said my prayers and blew. Blew hard. The snot came out. My nose felt slightly relieved. But I felt defeated. The handkerchief looked at me smugly and I swear I heard it whisper “Yeah. That’s what I thought…” After class I told my professor I’ll wash it and bring it back to him next week. He laughed and said “Alright.”